Monday, October 1, 2012

One Is The Lonliest Number

 So I'm not really sure where to begin or if I even should. I don't want this to turn into a negative thing as my trust in Heavenly Father's plan for my life assures me that it is not. Jared and I have been trying to have a little one for the last year now with no such luck. I have been on clomid for going on 7 months each month hoping for two little lines, each month ending in face frowning disappointment. Sometimes I get really frustrated when time after time all that comes from that tiny expensive strip is one lonely little line but all and all I have kept my head held high. Today as I saw that oh so familiar lame spice line I felt my heart sink a little , but was quickly reminded of  my sweet husband and his sweet words. Jared told me just yesterday that we need to ALWAYS keep our glasses half full, think of our blessings rather than our misfortunes. I thought about that as I walked out of the bathroom and sat on the couch next to him. I told him about the lame spice line and asked him to share with me one positive thing about not being pregnant. He smiled and told me not just one but two things...haha All of which were true, all of which made me feel better! I wanted to share this little insight into our lives with you, my friends and family not for pity but for the shear example of our Heavenly Father's love for each of us. It really does amaze me how well he knows each and every one of us. I have no doubt that Jared and I will be blessed to form a child and bring it into this world when the time is right. I have faith in that. For now though I am going to work on filling my glass...COMPLETELY. I am going to better myself in all aspects of my life(as a disciple, wife, daughter, sister, teacher and friend). I am so grateful to be a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. I really can't ask for much more, as I have everything that I need and more. I am truly the Luckiest girl alive!!
P.s I am first counselor in the Young Women's....HOORAY!

5 Amazing Thoughts:

Shalene said...

When you do have a little one on the way that baby will be very lucky to have you as a mother :)

Twinmomwv said...

Although I have no experience in this particular struggle, my heart goes out to you. You will be blessed with children someday and will make a wonderful mother!

Danielle said...

Hailey! I'm so sorry to hear this. I totally understand and sometimes you can have all the positives and wonderful things in life and have the best life ever, but when you have that righteous desire to have children and can't seem to get there...its really hard to look on the positive! But you are right, it is all in Heavenly Father's plan for us and remembering that is a comfort. I just try to remind myself that I will get my turn and I will get my babies, and once I do it will be all worth it and I will appreciate them that much more!!! Love ya!

Anna said...

Oh man, I remember those days. It was a long and difficult road to get Rachel. Looking back now, I'm so glad that I didn't get her when I wanted to. It happened at THE perfect time, something that I couldn't have planned, only the Lord could. The other three came rather easily and it made me wonder why getting Rach was so hard. But you've hit the nail on the head. The Lord has a plan and how blessed are we when we allow that to be our plan also. You'll be an awesome mommy someday, Hailey. Keep that positive attitude!

Lanette said...

Hailey, I don't know why I didn't see this until today, but I just wanted to send you (belated) hugs and loves. That's super tough stuff, and my heart aches for you. Even though we adopted my perfect daughter and love her to pieces, there are still days when I just feel broken and wish I could have been the one to grow her in my belly. Even though I know I'm on the path that is meant to be mine, it's just hard to not have things work out with creating a family the way you plan. But I'm grateful that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, and that our Savior knows how we all feel, and totally gets it when things just suck. And I hope you know I'm always here if you want to talk, or just vent, or be sad. <3 I love you girl!